The Things We Take For Granted

Everything. It's almost amazing how many things we take for granted on a daily basis. Being able to see the ocean, walk along the sand, laugh and smile, be with friends and family. I think we take family for granted the most. And it's not like I'm saying there's anything wrong with that. You always assume they will be there. No one thinks about what it would be like if that someone wasn't there when you need them. Not there to hold you up when you think everything in life is crashing down.
Everything. Everything is crashing down on me now. My grandpa died a couple days ago. I guess I'm still in shock. Maybe that's why I find myself not being able to cry. I'm trying so desperately to keep my family going. Showing weakness only brings the sadness closer. As if it won't be there when I'm trying to ignore it. My dad is so depressed right now. My whole life he's been my best friend; my rock. The person who was always there for me to lean on. Bringing me milkshakes late at night, talking to me about life, showing me the things to appreciate. My dad is one in a million, and never in my life have I ever seen him this sad. Actually when you lose someone, sad, doesn't even begin to sum up what you feel. As if you could ever "sum up" your feelings. No matter what you do, you always feel something.
Whether it's about the grilled cheese sandwich you just made and how it's too dark or your friend going around sleeping with random guys. Everyone wants to feel appreciated. It's just too bad that we don't realize how much we should have appreciated them until they're gone. That's the ignorance of it. We are all so caught up in this busy atmosphere that no one ever stops to take a deep breath and think. And I can't understand why everyone wants to blend in. Everyone has a different fingerprint. We are all different; so why are we trying so desperately to be the same? I've always seen myself as a different person. I take time to stop and realize the things in life most people don't. Which is why I feel so bad about everyone walking around with no idea of how pretty the sky is or how the old lady down the street sits there everyday and misses her husband she's been without for 10 years.
Losing someone makes you feel so lost and helpless. It's an indescribable feeling. Luckily, most of us have the people left to help us through it. Life is so simple...and yet so complicated. There are the complicated things like, I wish I could help every single girl out there that has ever thought she's ugly, fat, or not good enough. Beautiful; inside or out, can't have a definition. It's what you make it. Then there the simple things. Like reading a book, buying a strawberry scented car air freshener; befriending someone you normally wouldn't. I don't know about anyone else but I find myself thinking that I'm not doing enough. Like I haven't earned my place in this world yet. Even when I do things I find myself wanting to do more. It's like a drug. Addicting.
Anyway sorry to go into an entire lecture. I get kind of crazy sometimes when I'm thinking. Just think next time you see someone in need, take 10 minutes out of your day to help someone less fortunate. Take time to look up at the sky and feel the sand between your toes.
xoxoxo.
Peace.

Cake...

Ok, so random thought here. Everyone pretty much loves some kind of cake, right? I mean theres marble, white, chocolate, confetti, and more. With or without frosting. I personally like mine with a TON of frosting. Anyway, I'm sort of new at this so don't judge me too much. My friend Suhail got me to join this. He's my "worshipper." So my friend is in a bit of a crisis right now. Men...need I say more? So yeah I'm trying to keep this short. Peace.